Internship: The Orientation

Today was my internship orientation. I got to tour the NICU. I wasn't expexting it to be so big. 4 bay rooms, 90 patients, and 240 RNs. It seems like a fast-paced environment, which is what I like. I really can't wait to start. The nurse manager/administrator was very welcoming and she actually prepared a binder for me which includes really useful information about the unit. I feel more prepared and confident having that binder in my possession before I actually have to start my shifts.

Study Tips

I'm sitting at Borders with my cup of Seattle's Best, working on my study plan for the NCLEX. It may sound strange, but I like scheduling study times. I have quite a knack for it. I know exactly how to spread out my workload (in specific detail) and anticipate how much I'd be able to do in a certain week (this usually depends on other deadlines or expected life activities).

So an advice to other students or future nursing students: Time management is KEY. Yes, we've heard it many many times, but it's true. Specifically setting aside time A HEAD of time for a certain assignment or class leaves you feeling less overwhelmed. When you see your workload spread out into little increments, you'll see that it is doable. Feeling confident about your ability to fulfill all your responsibilities makes you feel more motivated because you CAN do it!

However, no matter how well you do on your time management schedule, it really won't help much unless you STICK to your schedule. One of my nursing professors once told me that being a full time student should be considered as your full time job. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Consider your studying schedule as part of your full time job. STICK to it. Live up to your commitment to finish all the work you've told yourself you would do. Sure, this may mean that you'd have to miss out on hanging out with friends once in a while, but also remember that this won't last forever. One day you'll be done and it'll pay off.

Internship

I got my internship placement! I'll be at the NICU in Fairfax. I'm really excited! I can't wait to start.

The Beginning.

My last semester of college has begun. I have many anxieties about this next four to five months. I was kicking and screaming going into this semester. To end winter break is to dive headfirst into what I've come to dread: facing the harsh realities of real world nursing. Sure, I may excel at certain courses and appear to just come by the curriculum swimmingly, but book knowledge does not and will never equate competency. I am terrified that I will never meet the standards of the real world.

Although I am not a perfectionist, I need to feel the assurance and the validity that I am where I am supposed to be. Right now, I feel as though I'm nowhere close.

Perhaps, its God's way of humbling me. Because I have never had to work so hard for my grades before, I have always felt overconfident in my academic abilities. But sure enough, God has shown me multiple times in nursing school that I should not rely on my mere abilities, but only in Him. Nursing school has been a humbling experience for me. It is not through my time management skills, or my supposed intellect, or my own discipline that has gotten me this far into the program, but it is only because of God's grace alone.

So with that, although the future may be scary and uncertain for me, God is in control and HIS WILL (not mine) will be done.

*Warning: Major complaints ahead.

I knew this post would come sooner or later. I am exhausted physically and mentally. I have so many assignments and exams to get through before Thanksgiving Break:

• OB exam 3
• English paper
• OB clinical teaching plan
• Psych paper
• English quiz
• Psych paper #2
• Research proposal
• Research proposal oral presentation
  
• Another English paper
• OB exam 4
• OB clinical case study
• Psych clinical care plan
  

And on top of that, I need to register for my classes, go to work, and go to 2 consecutive clinicals.

So I am ridiculously tired. But the prospect of graduation looming ahead in the horizon gives me enough energy to work and cross out each assignment/exam on the list.

By the way, I turned in my Grad Petition yesterday. I felt accomplished.

Dear Baby,

• I hated having to carry you around in my arms everywhere. You are big and heavy and not exactly portable. It's not like I could just stuff you in my tote.
• Having you around has been one of the most stressful times in my life.
• Sorry for often leaving you in car during winter.
  
• While everyone else was out having a good time and being normal, I was stuck at home with you.
  
• You hurt my back.
  
• I apologize for dropping you multiple times. It was mostly accidental, but sometimes it was purely out of frustration for my inability to cope and understand you. And it's not like I didn't sustain injuries from that one time I dropped you on my foot.
• I stayed up late for so many nights because of you. My dark under eye circles will forever be a testament of that.
  
• Even though you were a source for many unpleasant events (or lack thereof), I must admit that I learned quite a lot ever since I had you.
  
  Sincerely, Less-Burdened Nursing Student

DISCLAIMER: no real babies were harmed during this post.

"The Lives They Left Behind"

I have been working on and off on this reflection paper based on the Willard Suitcase Exhibit for my psych-mental health class and have found this exhibit truly interesting.

This exhibit started through the discovery of hundreds of suitcases found in the attic of an old psychiatric center. The suitcases revealed the lives and the aspirations that the patients left behind after being committed into the asylum. Many of these patients' conditions were not severe enough to warrant a lifelong incarceration in a psychiatric institution, and yet they were kept in Willard until they died. Some were institutionalized by mistake due to their culture and foreign languages. Those who did have valid psychiatric conditions did not receive the proper psychotherapy they needed to get better.

After reading the stories, I was struck, not only by how the patients' freedoms were involuntarily taken from them , but also by how the stigma for "crazy" people still exist and still affect their care today. Today most psychiatric patients are not institutionalized for a lifetime or separated from the community (government reforms allowed for them to receive help in their own communities). However, today's society still struggle to commit to the care of these patients. Many of these patients become homeless because they cannot afford further follow-up treatments for their conditions, which is essential to their health and ultimately their ability to function in our society. Without their role function, they cannot maintain a living and contribute a lifestyle fitting for society, and thus they are further shunned.

I really do find psychiatric nursing much more interesting than I thought I would. Actually, I was dreading this class. But the lectures and assignments are really capturing my interest. I feel more at ease about going into my psych clinical. Still nervous and a bit concerned about actually interacting with a psychiatric patient, but I am more open than I was before. A bit more empathic.

I'm going to an AA Meeting this week for another reflection paper. I'll definitely blog about that particular assignment as soon as I can.