The Beginning.

My last semester of college has begun. I have many anxieties about this next four to five months. I was kicking and screaming going into this semester. To end winter break is to dive headfirst into what I've come to dread: facing the harsh realities of real world nursing. Sure, I may excel at certain courses and appear to just come by the curriculum swimmingly, but book knowledge does not and will never equate competency. I am terrified that I will never meet the standards of the real world.

Although I am not a perfectionist, I need to feel the assurance and the validity that I am where I am supposed to be. Right now, I feel as though I'm nowhere close.

Perhaps, its God's way of humbling me. Because I have never had to work so hard for my grades before, I have always felt overconfident in my academic abilities. But sure enough, God has shown me multiple times in nursing school that I should not rely on my mere abilities, but only in Him. Nursing school has been a humbling experience for me. It is not through my time management skills, or my supposed intellect, or my own discipline that has gotten me this far into the program, but it is only because of God's grace alone.

So with that, although the future may be scary and uncertain for me, God is in control and HIS WILL (not mine) will be done.